Stewards of our children's dreams, skills and gifts

As I read Grace Based Parenting, I am reminded that just as I am a steward of the dreams, skills and gifts God has given me, I am also a steward of the dreams, skills and gifts of my children.  My kids are so special.  They are unique.  They are passionate and they love to laugh.  I know God has big plans for all of them.

Past spiritual journal around 2010: Spiritual Training

I like to write what I believe I need to focus on more of in my spiritual growth.  The following are some of those truths:

• The Lord is with us.

• It's not our will but His will that matters.

• I should speak no more words of doubt or fear.

• There is no point in talking about "the yucky stuff."

• The tongue is like a rudder to a ship.

• Who cares if you can anticipate all of the good and bad things that could happen in any circumstance.  God will destroy the wisdom of the wise.  Man plans his way but the Lord directs his path.

• The spirit does live in us and is guiding us.

• Plan on the best happening.

• Cultivate my mind on scripture.  Watch out for idol pointless web surfing.  Don't let it become a habit.

• Relax through it all.  Only use the muscles you absolutely have to use.

• Be strong and courageous...like a lion.

• Don't be greedy.

• How would I act if I was 100% confident God was with me?

• Since I am 100% confident God is with me, am I acting that way?

• Trust the Lord with your heart, but don't trust your heart. 

• Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character produces hope.

• Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.

• Pray like it depends on God, work like it depends on you.

• Chase the lion.

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.  

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is.  His good pleasing and perfect will.

Phillipians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.

2 Kings 6:16 NIV

"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." 

2 Kings 6:17 NKJV

Elisha’s servant arose early one morning–and there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. Elisha prayed, and said, "LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see." and the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 

1 Chronicles 29-11-12

Everything in the heavens and earth is yours oh Lord and this is your kingdom.  We adore you as being in control of everything.  Riches and honor come from you alone and you are the ruler of all mankind.  Your hand controls power and might and it is at your discretion that men are made great and are given strength.  

1Peter 5: 6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

Romans 12:9-12

Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

1 Corinthians 14

1Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. 2For anyone who speaks in a tongue[a] does not speak to men but to God. Indeed, no one understands him; he utters mysteries with his spirit.[b] 3But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. 

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.  Do everything in love.

Prayer:

• Open my eyes.  Open the eyes of my heart. 

• Help me see your chariots of fire.

• Help me see things the way you want me to see them.

• Keep me from having tunnel vision.

• Help me sense your presence and where you want me to go, what you want me to do and how you want me to speak.

• Help me have the discipline to grow.  

• What is true: you created the heavens and earth; you are all knowing, everywhere and were in the beginning and are at the end.  In you we live, move and breathe.  

• What is noble: When people sacrifice for others.  Noble is fighting addiction and forming new behavioral habits to help families grow.  

The three basic driving inner needs of a

child are:

1. a need for security
2. a need for significance 
3. a need for strength

The above information obtained from Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel

Dr. Kimmel also provided a definition of love as: "...the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost."

Be Still and Know

For some of us, it is difficult to be still.  I think there are those of us who have a tendency to be active, to be moving, to be thinking, to be correcting, to be improving, to be building, to be growing, to be creating...but, to be still?  I really believe that there is a genetic predisposition for some of us to NOT be still.  Some may consider this tendency to be controlled by an anxious type personality or a type A type personality.

For those of us who have a difficult time being still, I think we have to understand we have to learn to be still.  Sometimes, it can be easy to be still.  It may be easier to be still on vacation looking at a beautiful blue ocean with no pending responsibility.  It may be more difficult to be still when faced with a grim diagnosis, a problem financially, or a problem in our relationships.  With all the information we have available, it would seem that if we just work hard enough, search hard enough or think hard enough, that we could fix any problem.

Well, I think there are times when God just wants us to be still...because when we allow ourselves to be still, we can know that He is God.

Learning To Be...

In Philipians 4:12, Paul states he has learned the secret of being content .  It is helpful for me to remember that mental states of being take time to master.  In other words, we need to "learn" to be content.  In addition, it seems that we need to "learn" to be at peace.  We need to "learn" to be calm and controlled.  We need to "learn" to be self disciplined.  As life goes on and we are faced with new opportunities, experiences, trials and challenges, this "learning" continues.

In fact, it is through new trials and challenges that we are able to apply the things we have learned in the past, but we must press on to learn new methods and approaches when our worlds are rocked.

Philipians 4:12  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

http://www.northpoint.org/messages/free

What are your true limits?

I recently was fortunate to spend some time with my friend who is 100 years old...almost 101.  He insisted I take his book home entitled, Inside Seal Team Six by Don Mann.  Since my friend was a Frogman in WWII, I wasn't going to argue with him more than I already had.    I figure I will call him and share with him some of the things I am learning from this book.

One of my favorite quotes so far by Don Mann is, "Because I figure if you never push beyond what you think your true limits are, you will never know your true abilities."  He insists that most people have no idea what their true limits are.

Above all else, guard your heart!

I think this is great advice we find in Proverbs 4:23-27.  I find the advice that follows the first sentence helpful:

1.  Think about and control what you say.
2.  Think about and control what you see.
3.  Think about and control where you go.

In other words, what we say, what we see and where we go all impact our spiritual heart health.

When God is silent, is He absent?

Here is a great message addressing God's silence when it seems our lives are being turned upside down:
http://www.northpoint.org/messages/when-god

Right thinking over time

with God's help equals a changed life (Rodney Anderson).  There is power in changing or mind.

We DEMOLISH arguments!

Have you ever been in a real dark place mentally or spiritually?   Have you ever had to battle thoughts so hard that you weren't sure if you would live?  I am convinced that we need to be intense and intentional about guarding our hearts and our minds.  When the challenges of life come, we have got to feed our minds and our hearts with good food.  We have to work out our minds and our spirits by "...demolishing arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.  We must take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ."  2 Corinthians 10:5.

Here are a few suggestions how to do guard our hearts and minds:
1.  Listen to Podcasts/messages on line
2.  Memorize scripture
3.  State over and over sentences like, "To know His love that surpasses knowledge," "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind," "If you hold to my teaching you will know the truth and then the truth will set you free," "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about these things."

Our Adoption Soundtrack

Well, it's been a little while since we returned home from Taldykorgan, Kazakhstan with our amazingly awesome son.  We had one fantastic experience on our journey to be united with him.  To make a long story short, we completed three and a half trips total over a period of about 2.5 months.  We spent about 6 weeks total over there.  We were deported, but were able to fix our Visas in Germany and get back over there to adopt our child!  In the process, there were some songs that we would hear and have left lasting memories and great feelings when I hear them.  I have been wanting to write these thoughts and feelings down.  We had an open house dance party tonight to the songs on our Kazak soundtrack and so I wanted to write these thoughts and feelings down:

1. "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" [feat. Nicole Scherzinger]:  This song was played over and over after our Baby House visits.  We stayed in an apartment by the City Plus in Taldy.  We would hear this over and over and over as it was piped through speakers into the neighborhood.  I got annoyed at the time, but now I love to hear the song.  It reminds me of our daily visits to the Baby House hanging with our son. 
2. "When I Look Into Your Eyes" By Firehouse:  This was a song Amanda and I danced to at our wedding.  When driving back to our Apartment with Kareem in Taldy, we heard this song right before we got out of his car.  He was listening to a station that played a mixture of Kazak and American music.  I couldn't believe this song came on.  We had just completed our speech in front of the Kazak judge asking for permission to adopt our son.  That was the most important speech we have ever given.  Our son had been referred to as the little "Boola Bun" by the people who loved and cared for him at his Baby House.  I am not sure how it is spelled in Kazakh, but it meant "eyes of a baby camel."   His eyes are beautiful.  I felt like that song coming on was a sign from God that our adoption would be approved.
3. "I Know You Want Me" (Calle Ocho) [More English Extended]:  Mika was one of our translators while spending time at the Baby House with our son.  She would listen to this song and sing it while we were hanging out.  She was getting ready to begin college.  This song also came on during our rides back to our apt. from the Baby House.
4. "Forever" By Chris Brown: Amanda and I would listen to this song in the evenings while in Taldy.  We also listened to this song before we left our home to meet our son.  This represents the beautiful "dance" we had in our journey to meet and join with our son.
5. "Never Surrender" By Cory Hart:  I prayed and sang this song to our son before we met him for many many months.  Sometimes I would sing it in the car, sometimes at home.  I would imagine him (or her as we weren't sure whether we would be joined with a boy or girl) being in the Baby House and would pray God would give him a sense that we were with him, that God was with him and that he would feel loved by all those caring for him.  Of course, when we were deported on our first trip, I believe this song was meant to encourage us to keep fighting to meet the little guy we were meant to parent as soon as possible.
6. "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas:  We listened to this song the night before we were confirmed that we would be our son's parents.  Amanda and I would sing this song together many times prior to our trips to Kaz.  For some reason, when I hear this song, it also makes me think of one of one of the places we ate when we were deported back to Germany.  Good stuff!!
7. "Alpha and Omega" by Gaither Vocal Band:  We praised God many times for the journey He was sending us on to adopt our child.  I stood in the aisle of our plane about an hour before it landed for the first time in Kazakhstan.  I was praising Him as we were flying through the air.  Little did I know we would be deported about 2 hours later.  That was when the real praising began!  I never praised God for being so so sad.  But, I had to believe He did not bring usthat far to not bring us back to Kaz. 
8. "Poker Face" and "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga: Two more songs that played over and over and over and over at the City Plus.  Funny how hearing these songs take us right back to that spot.  Such great memories!
9. "I Need You" by Marc Anthony: This was a love song I sang to my wife during our adoption experience.
10. "A New Hallelujah" by Michael W. Smith: This was our theme song for our whole adoption experience.  We listened to it many times before we left on our trips and we listened to it while we were there.  Our little one was "a new song" and we are so happy to have him!!...

What does repent mean?

Change the way you think.  Many people have no idea that is what repent means.  Many believe it means to feel bad about what you are doing and try to stop.

I am loving this message:
http://www.northpoint.org/messages/a-beautiful-mind

Guarding Our Minds: Tools of Thought

What tools do we use to guide our thoughts?  The following are a list of the tools we use to guide our thinking: imagination, stories we create in our minds, the conversations we have with ourselves and others in our minds, the ideas we create, the things we contemplate, what we focus on daily, the judgements we make, the conclusions we derive and the opinons we share all represent our thoughts.

Habitual Thoughts: What are They?

What thoughts do you tend to have when you:

• are hungry
• are full
• are happy
• are sad
• are angry
• are lonely
• are discouraged
• are encouraged
• are confronted
• are confronting
• are confused
• are enlightened
• are looking to purchase something
• want something that you can't have
• talk to someone "important"
• talk to someone who may not be "important"

Is it possible that the way we think in certain circumstances has become habitual?

Here is an outstanding sermon on renewing our minds

http://www.northpoint.org/messages/a-beautiful-mind

A Tweet About Habits By John Ortberg:

johnortberg John Ortberg

U r a collection of habits Tru change means-not more willpower-but new habits.

Transformation Discussion Questions About the Heart

Discussion Questions for Transformation V:
Give an example of something you guard or protect?  How much effort do you put into guarding it and why?

What is the difference between guarding your heart and renewing your mind?
Is guarding your heart like playing defense and renewing your mind like playing offense?

How much effort do you put into guarding your heart? 
How much effort do you put into guarding the hearts of your family members?

How do you guard your heart?
Do you ever forget to guard your heart?

As a leader of your family, how do you help guard the hearts of those in your family? 

What are some examples of spiritual junk food that may be harmful to our hearts?

List possible enemies to your heart? 

Are the enemies of your heart consistent or do they change? 

How often do you participate in activities that help guard your heart?

Scriptures for January 2011 Transformation Gathering
Luke 10:27 states to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind."

Psalm 119:11 states "I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against God." 

Matthew 12:34 New Living Translation (NLT)
34 You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

Mark 7:20 (NLT)
20 And then he added,“It is what comes from inside that defiles you. 21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”

Proverbs 14:30 New International Version (NIV)

30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 4:23 New International Version (NIV)
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.In Philipians 4:7, we are told "the peace of God will guard your heart and minds."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways aknowledge Him and He will direct your Path.

Here are some blog entries on the heart:
http://nowaboutyourmission.blogspot.com/2011/12/what-is-difference-between-guarding.html
http://nowaboutyourmission.blogspot.com/2011/11/heart.html

Discussion Questions For Next Transformation Gathering

Patterns Of This World: Habits and the Heart
What habits do you practice that help you guard your heart?

How do our habits relate to guarding our hearts? 
What are the habits in your life that help you to guard your heart? 

What are the habits that help you guard the hearts of your family? 

Blog entries for the next Transformation Gathering
http://nowaboutyourmission.blogspot.com/2011/12/when-will-power-defeat-our-habits.html
http://nowaboutyourmission.blogspot.com/2011/12/collection-of-habits-and-conditioned.html