"I want you to have

what I never had."  These were common words I would hear from my father while growing up.  His father (my Grandpa Beltz) was in WWII and came back a changed man.  For debatable reasons, he was not able to be around to care for his kids. Dad was one of nine children.  My grandma would work as a teacher and was not able be home to raise her kids.  That left the nine kids at home to raise one another. 

Dad was the Dad to me that he never had.  He was there with me to go fishing, boating, hunting and camping.  He was my baseball, football and wrestling coach from third grade until he was not permitted to coach anymore...and then he was present at all of my events.  We would drive to Youngstown several times a week to play Class B baseball my senior year.  He fixed my three wheeler, four wheeler and my bicycle without complaining.  He taught me how to be a good businessman and how to be a wise steward with finances.  I would go on the gas truck with him any chance I got and would visit customer's homes and that is when he taught me "one man's dream is another man's nightmare." 

Dad gave me what he never had.  I often wondered why?  He could have resorted to a drunken lifestyle.  He could have chosen not to work.  After all, he didn't graduate from high school.  He married my mother when she was 16 years of age.  Yet, he fought the curses that come along with alcoholism and helped me become who I am today.  As I walked away from his grave site three and a half years ago holding my son, I promised we would carry the torch and pass it on to future generations.

How did we become who we are?  A few quick thoughts are because of God's grace, a strong mother, sister, support system at our church (Beechwood Christian Church in Alliance, Ohio) and something else.  In Mansfield's Book of Manly Men, Stephen Mansfield states that Winston Churchill did not have a very supportive father.  He gives examples of abusive language and absence in Churchill's life.  He shares the following quote by Churchill: "Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong; and a boy deprived of a father's care often develops, if he escapes the perils of youth, and independence and vigour of thought which may restore in after life the heavy loss of early days."  "Famous men are usually the product of a unhappy childhood.  The stern compression of circumstances, the twinges of adversity, the spur of slights and taunts in early years, are needed to evoke that ruthless fixity of purpose and tenacious mother wit without which great actions are seldom accomplished."

Looking back, Dad was not only driven by his love for our family and God, but he was driven by the strong desire to be the Dad he never had.  I believe the desire to make it better for the next generation is crucial to the success of our family.  The desire to pass on more than what we had will be a fuel to build self discipline and to have hope for the future.  The desire to give to others more than we were given is a desire to love others.

Be the Man!

Take it like a man!  Be the man!  Act like a man!  These were comments that I often heard growing up.  I remember thinking that being the man in elementary school meant protecting the girls on the playground from bullies. 

Well, my in-laws just gave me Mansfield's Book of Manly Men for Christmas.  I have already read the first ten pages.  I like what I am reading so far.  I would like to memorize one of the verses referenced in the book "Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8

I also appreciated the authors statement that "we become what we do.  We are a sum of our habits."  He adds that with God's grace, we can break habitual cycles that render us ineffective. 

I think that to be "The Man" means to be able to control appetites and create good habits that allow us to demonstrate goodness, knowledge, self control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection and love.  This is my pursuit.  I hope I am better at this one month from now, one year from now and each following year until I leave this earth.  It is my dream that those who come after me will be better at it and pass on better traits to their kin.  I hope that each generation builds on the prior generation in an effort to help the next generation be stronger than the one before.

Expectations are the enemy

of serenity.  This past spring, I had a nice encounter with a man who had hiked the Appalachian trail.  I was helping at a continuing education event and we were discussing the expectations of the group that would be attending.  He shared the quote, "expectations are the enemy of serenity" with me.  He had met a man on the trail who had shared this quote with him.  Dreams, hopes and expectations. 
Is it bad to have expectations?  What is the difference between dreaming, hoping and expecting?

Under achieve and you will

RECEIVE!  What?  I recall a friend sharing frustration that the basketball team he helped coach had a winning record.  The football team at the same college had a losing record.  However, the football team received all the goodies- extra money, nicer facilities, nicer equipment, etc.  He said, it's the philosophy that if you "under achieve you will receive."  After I heard that, many different circumstances and people came to mind.  For several years, this statement helped me better understand my irritation with injustice.

Today, I had an aha moment.  I was participating in a Sunday morning bible study and we reviewed how great is God's love.  That led to the parable of the prodigal son.  My focus had always been on the son in this story.  Today, my focus was shifted to the brother.  The brother was rightfully upset about his Father's decision to welcome his brother, who made many poor financial and behavioral choices, right back into the family as if nothing had been done.  However, Jesus made clear that we should celebrate this type of incident...as it pertains to the kingdom of God. 

The truth is, from God's perspective, we all underachieve.  I am a big underachiever when it comes to God's view of good deeds.  I need grace.  God's grace is hard to understand.  It doesn't make sense.  It is not fair.  That is the kind of grace I need.

I realized today that when I experience injustice...people receiving what they have not earned... I should be happy for them.  Even more though, I should be reminded of how great grace is... the kind of grace that we all need.  The kind of grace I need.

Was Jesus just a great teacher?

http://www.northpoint.org/messages/brought-to-you-by

Christian Mantras

Not by might, nor by power, but by your spirit
Open the eyes of my heart
Help me see your chariots of fire
Help me see what You want me to see
To know His love that surpasses knoweldge
Be still and know that I am God
Plans to prosper you
Plans to give you hope and a future
Father, how did you make the sun?
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed
To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
Power, love and self discipline.
Man cannot live on bread alone.
Out of His glorious riches
Perseverence leads to character and character-hope
Consider it pure joy when you endure trials of many kinds
Lean not on your own understanding
My ways are not your ways
You will destroy the wisdom of the wise
Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.
Your hand controls power and might
Everything in the heavens and earth is yours oh Lord and this is your kingdom
It is at your discretion that men are made great and are given strength
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
He would strengthen you with power.
How wide, how long, how wide is the love of Christ.
They will soar on wings like eagles.
Run and not be weary
Walk and not be faint
Whatever is true
Whatever is right
Whatever is pure
Whatever is lovely
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand
He may life you up in do time.
More of you and less of me
More of your thoughts, less of my thoughts
More of your power, less of my power
I can't, but You can
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free
Peace that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus
If you made an axe head float then you...
Perhaps the Lord will act on our behalf
We need to be uncomfortable with our comfortableness