As we prepare for communion, we want to reflect on our relationship with Christ, confess our sins, and make sure we are focused on him.
Last week, Rick preached a sermon and asked, what should lead us when making decisions, our head or our heart? If we are all honest, our rational head does not always win over our passionate heart, which is when we often get in trouble.
I faced a significant challenge between my head and heart a few months ago. I delayed sharing because the feelings were so raw that I needed time to contemplate the event. Here is what happened. As the head coach of a great group of boys on our community tournament baseball team, we played a travel team with a coach who crossed the line one too many times. He pushed us off the field while warming up. He asked me how many tournaments we had won during rules review at home plate and he knew we had won none (at least in the gold bracket). He tried to recruit my players for his team, and he tried to get in the head of my 10 year old pitcher by accusing me of trying to bias the umpire verbally after every pitch. While the game was going on, he accused me of manipulating the umpire again, which was the last straw. Some say we tend to see the world the way we are, and he was clearly the one doing the manipulating. I spoke up with intensity. The whole game stopped, and an intense verbal dual ensued. I wanted my pitcher to know I had his back. That is when “Papa Bear” coach came out. I usually keep my mouth shut when the umpire makes bad calls or other coaches try to pick fights, but this time I did not back down. Yes, it was awkward, but I felt the competitive passion I had as a kid that would often lead to a more intense physical altercation on the football field or wrestling mat. The problem was this was not either. This was baseball. Here is what happened:
Head Heart
You are 45 years old- shut your mouth Get him! Don’t let up. Win for your team!
Be an example to the boys First Take him down. then pound on his…
You could end up in jail No one will say anything.
It will be for the good of the world!
You have communion thoughts tomorrow! I got nothing
Well, somehow, the yelling stopped, and things calmed down, but as the game went on, my anger continued. My son, who played third base, said he called me an idiot. Visions of running out on the field and taking him down were becoming more intense. What was going on? Fortunately, David Rogers was present and I stepped away from the team knowing I needed help calming down. Now at first he and one of our friends said, “don’t worry we got your back.” Then David calmly encouraged me to keep it together and smiled, laughed, and brought me back to reality.
As we come to the communion table, if we are honest, we all deal with this intense battle between our hearts and our heads. We battle emotions that are often overpowering and often much louder than our rational heads. Regrets are often because our hearts have lead the way.
Paul spoke of this in Romans when he said: 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Here are a few final thoughts. When it comes to behavior, Appetites/emotions will often eat willpower for breakfast. But don’t trade what you want most for what you want in the moment.
I am happy to say that my brain was not just holding me back. My heart was also saying, “You love Jesus! You represent Christ! Don’t let Him down. Don’t let your family down. Don’t ruin your future and the future of your family.”
Oh yeah, we did win that game and remember, we will win the game of life.
