from growing. Anger robs us of our leadership potential. Andy Stanley has a great leadership Podcast series on "Enemies of the Heart." He states that leaders who have internal problems eventually are held back because internal problems eventually express themselves externally. He states the condition of our heart becomes an invisible lid to our leadership (John Maxwell's Law of the Lid).
In his podcast on anger, he states anger states "you owe me." Anger causes us to expect pay back. He states angry leaders fix blame on individuals rather than systems. However, nine times out of ten a system is to blame. Being angry puts us in "pay back mode." Anger causes us to believe that "you took something from me."
He states angry people have very little emotional margin and that they tend to blame people. The way to get over anger is to release others from their debt to you. I must decide, "you don't owe me anymore." This does not mean they weren't wrong or that they didn't owe me. It just means I am deciding to forgive them of the debt they owe.
Forgiveness breaks the power of anger. Andy states, "We don't like to lose" and when we decide others don't owe us anymore, we feel we are giving something up. Anger gives us a sense of power over others. When we decide they don't owe us, we feel as though we are giving up power over them. We do not like to lose and we don't like to give up power. When we decide we are going to forgive others, we feel like we have lost. However, in reality it is a big win as forgiveness creates emotional margin. Thanks Andy Stanley for these thoughts!
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